Why You Should Be Addicted to Bettering Yourself

I really like knowing that I am never finished. There will always be something I could know more about, get better at, take better care of or approach differently than I did a year ago. Evolution is important in my life because I don't want to become too comfortable with staying exactly the same.

That is what self-improvement means to me. I want to look back every few years and notice a difference. I want to be wiser about certain things, better at my work, more interesting because I've developed actual interests, stronger in the way I handle difficult situations and better at taking care of myself. I think personal growth should eventually become something you genuinely enjoy.

A big part of The Life Extract has always been this idea that living well isn’t about having everything figured out, but continuing to take an interest in your own life and how you can make it better.

Always have something you're getting better at

I don't think self-improvement needs to involve reinventing your entire life. Usually it is much smaller than that. You realize you've been going to bed too late and fix your sleep schedule. You learn how to make a few really good dinners. You become better with money, start exercising consistently or finally deal with something you've been putting off.

I actually like having something I'm working on. Life feels a little stagnant to me when there isn't anything I'm learning, improving or trying to understand better. It gives you somewhere to direct your attention besides whatever happens to be going on around you.

And the focus can change. Personal growth might mean taking your career seriously for a while and then realizing your health needs more attention. Later, maybe you want to become more knowledgeable about art, improve the way you communicate or learn something simply because you've always found it interesting. You aren't supposed to work on everything at once.

Become a woman who knows things

One of my favourite parts of personal growth has nothing to do with productivity. I want to know more things.

I like women who are genuinely interested in the world. They know about things because they've taken the time to learn about them. Maybe it's film, history, food, architecture, politics, fashion, gardening or something incredibly specific that nobody around them knows much about. I don't think you need to turn every interest into expertise. I just think curiosity makes life better.

That counts as self-improvement too. Go to an exhibition and actually read about the artist afterward. Watch the documentary because something made you curious. Take a class you have no professional reason to take. Learn why something became culturally important instead of only knowing that it is.

The nicest part is that eventually you have more to contribute. You have opinions you've actually thought about, references you understand and things you're excited to talk about. Personal growth doesn't always need to make you more productive. Sometimes it simply makes you a more interesting person.

Take care of the physical version of you

I also don't think self-improvement needs to pretend appearance and physical wellbeing don't matter. I like feeling put together. I like when I've slept properly, moved my body, eaten well, taken care of my skin and gotten dressed in something I actually like.

There is a noticeable difference between moving through your day feeling slightly tired and neglected and feeling properly taken care of. It affects your mood, your energy and sometimes simply how much you feel like doing that day.

But I don't think personal growth in this area should become an endless search for physical flaws. For me, it is much more appealing to think about what makes me feel good in everyday life. Becoming stronger. Sleeping enough. Finding healthy meals I actually want to eat. Taking an extra twenty minutes to get ready because I enjoy how I feel afterward.

The habits themselves don't have to be dramatic. The National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases describes behaviour change as something that happens through stages, including preparation, action and eventually maintenance. It recommends starting with small changes, making specific plans, tracking progress and expecting occasional setbacks. That feels much more realistic to me than deciding on Monday morning that your entire lifestyle is about to change.

Notice where you've become too comfortable

Sometimes self-improvement starts because something is genuinely wrong. Other times, nothing is wrong at all. You've just gotten comfortable.

Maybe your days have become repetitive. Maybe you've stopped putting much effort into getting dressed. Maybe you aren't challenging yourself professionally anymore. Maybe you've been spending an embarrassing amount of time scrolling and not very much time doing the things you claim you care about.

I think personal growth requires being able to notice those things without turning them into a personal crisis. You can simply decide that something isn't working as well as it could and change it.

I've found it useful to occasionally look at my own life almost from the outside. How am I spending my mornings? What am I doing with my free time? What am I learning? What am I putting off? What content is my brain listening to? What would make my everyday life noticeably better if I actually dealt with it? Usually the answers aren't anything crazy, just simple habits that have an impact.

Make your goals exist outside your head

There is a difference between wanting something and arranging your life around it. This is probably where most of my own self-improvement attempts either start working or quietly disappear.

If I want to exercise more, there has to be an actual time when I'm going to exercise. If I want to eat better, there needs to be food in the house that makes that possible. If I want to become better at something professionally, I have to identify what I'm actually trying to learn rather than vaguely deciding I should improve my career.

That is where personal growth becomes much less abstract. Give the thing a place in your week. Decide what doing it actually looks like. Make it easy enough that you can repeat it when you're tired, busy or simply not particularly motivated.

Keep some evidence that you're changing

The strange thing about personal growth is that you usually don't notice it while it's happening. You're still yourself every morning, so the differences can feel almost invisible.

Then something that used to intimidate you feels fairly ordinary. You handle a situation differently than you would have a year ago. Your body feels stronger. You look at old work and realize how much better you've become. Someone asks you about something and you suddenly realize you know quite a lot about it.

I like keeping small evidence of self-improvement for that reason. It can be as simple as keeping track of workouts, things you've learned, projects you've completed, recipes you've mastered, money you've saved or something you finally became confident doing. Progress becomes much easier to appreciate when you can actually see it.

Let personal growth show up in your actual life

I think this is the part of personal growth that interests me most. Eventually, it should become visible in the way you live.

You become better at your work because you've spent time getting better at it. You have more interesting conversations because you've developed interests. Your home works better because you've dealt with the things that constantly annoyed you. You feel better physically because you've been taking care of yourself consistently.

And ideally, self-improvement doesn't make you obsessed with everything you haven't accomplished yet. It makes you more engaged with your own life. Every day is another opportunity to be slightly better than the day before. Obviously, some days I will use that opportunity better than others. Sometimes improving myself will mean doing something difficult, and sometimes it will simply mean going to bed when I said I would. But I hope I always have something I'm getting better at.